Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
