just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
