How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
