try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
