remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
