It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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