How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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