i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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