You made me cry and you don't even care
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
