I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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