Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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