dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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