i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
