your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
