I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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