So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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