it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she smelled like a LAN party
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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