I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
