it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
