I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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