He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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