How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize