what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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