i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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