I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Randomize
