these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
