Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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