Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
