just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
