I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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