Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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