the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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