Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
