I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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