I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
