Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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