All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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