3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
