I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
