JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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