I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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