Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
