Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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