Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize