NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
