And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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