What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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