btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
