For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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