mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
