i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
