I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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