i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode