My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.