I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
