There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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