Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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