LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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