That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
