I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
