I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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