we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
