Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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