feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
